PIGEON

pukicho:

gabedr888:

pukicho:

Every post on reddit is like “my wife left me, so i spent 100000 on a new man cave” and there’s always a storm trooper of some kind in the room. Ive seen this happen so often on reddit that now i associate storm troopers and the entire star wars universe with divorce.

may divorce be with you

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dundle:

adz:

beercheesecasserole:

adz:

one time this nondescript guy came into my dunkin donuts and ordered a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot, and for some reason that peculiar order stuck with me so much that when, seven months later, i saw him in the parking lot walking towards the door, i quickly made a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot. he ordered it and i was already holding it. 

i would describe his demeanor that second time as “incredulous”

What the fuck who drinks that

it’s such a perfectly bonkers order because like, most unusual orders are maximalist and sugary but this one just combines the most basic drink with the most incongruous little add-on. it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him

this post always makes me laugh. this guy has the weirdest drink order and he probably never goes to this dunkin’ if it took seven months for the barista to see him again. so think about a coffee shop you go to so little you’re not even sure if you’ve gone there before and you walk in and the barista hands you the drink you were about to order before you even ordered it. he will remember that for the rest of his life

lemondorp:
“ trashboat:
“op change your url challenge
”
I thought it was going to be something like ‘unfunny-comics’, but what I read instead completely obliterated me.
”

lemondorp:

trashboat:

op change your url challenge

I thought it was going to be something like ‘unfunny-comics’, but what I read instead completely obliterated me.

husband:

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Pressing replay on a song for the 32nd time to once again imagine an animatic I will never make

mlmsamwilson:

tag yourself as the clients i’ve talked to while working as a telemarketer

  • the guy who told me ‘i can’t talk right now i’m at the stables and i’m being attacked by a horse’ and promptly hang up
  • the guy who, after being asked if he had the time to listen to my offer, replied with ‘i’m at a funeral right now. but i mean… yeah fine lets do it’
  • the lady who told me she couldn’t talk because she’d just cooked an egg and she wanted to eat it while it was still warm
  • the dude who was like ‘god i have so much money i dont know what to do with them’
  • the poor secretary who told me i couldn’t speak to the doctor i was trying to reach because he’d been fired 13 years ago
  • the man who literally gave me a 12 minute monologue on why capitalism is fucked up 
  • the woman who finished the call with me, a random bank consultant, with ‘okay bye i love you’
  • the guy who kept replying in russian to everything i said
  • the guy whose email address was spyagent@sth.com
  • the customer whom i accidentally called mr sausage
  • the guy whose outgoing voicemail was ‘mmmmmm this yoghurt be YUMMY’
  • the client who replied to my offer of increasing his credit card limit with ‘no, i’m too stupid for that’

cantabilechaos:

strikerenterprise:

angelicguy:

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Me reading the title: ugh this is gonna be some tightass who thinks tattoos are trashy or something 🙄

Me reading what the tattoo was:

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carbisari:

vamprisms:

fantasy could be the best genre but unfortunately there are too many weird horny men writing it

Not Enough Weird Horny Women Writing it